It 4am and I can’t sleep.

It 4am and I can’t sleep. Nowhere near it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading Keith Richard’s book and he’s always banging on about how he does sleep cos there are more interesting things to do. Maybe it’s because I had a massage late-ish last night and that energised my body. But most likely it’s because I’m wound up tighter than one of Keith’s guitar strings. What I’m actually doing is this. I’m writing this because if I don’t I’m in danger of writing an “I quit” letter to work. Basically I’ve been stitched up good and proper and, as Peter Finch said in Network, I’m mad as hell and won’t take it anymore. The new workloads have been given out and I’ve got far more than anyone else. I’ve been given a whole new year long module to do by myself. No one else has been given anything like that. I know I’ve been given that because a) they think “Jed’s nice, we can” and b) I get no support from the course leader. (Simon got half a one-semester module; Rob got nothing - extra tutorial time but has lost a semester one module). I’ve written to Marc Keech a number of times about it and he’s not having any of it. “I’m sorry you feel that way but that’s the way it is”. If I want to do anything I have to make an official complaint. What a way to start the year. Really, I’ve just had enough. I know you feel the grief from college, but I’ve just had enough.

It’s curious because the day started so nicely. Lovely Annie the astrology woman came to see me and apparently all’s sunny in the garden. There was loads of stuff about Pluto being in my sun – a good thing – but in short, it’s all good. A year of change of transformation. Saturn is well aspected – there’s are no real difficulties. Mars is in Taurus – Mars is about energy, Taurus is about the land. Wonder what that could refer to. Jupiter is also in Taurus – new opportunities, new growth. Apparently I’ve got a “Grand Trine” (think that’s how you spell it) which means I’m “lovely and fiery”. Moon is in Aries, Venus is in Leo, Saturn is in Sagittarius.

I’ve got words written down like very creative, exuberant, inspirational, feel very comfortable with women, core stability I can’t do standing still, I can’t plateau out. I’m very open minded, open to new things. But Peak Time is coming up. Jupiter is also in Taurus which means new opportunities, new growth. Two important years are coming up. By this time in two years time – Sept 2013 – things will look very different. We’ve got to think big, set high targets. The last word I’ve got written down is ‘flourishing’.

Seems such a contrast to how I feel. Actually I feel very odd, like I’m speeding or something. No idea. No doubt they’ll say “Ah, that’s the effects of the detox. It’s all the toxins leaving your body”. But then again, if it’s raining they say that. And if it’s sunny they say that.
“I’m going to the shops”
“Ah, that’s the effects of the detox. It’s all the toxins leaving your body”.

What else? It’s been an interesting week in an uninteresting way. I’ve not been hugely purposeful, not been doing anything. Not writing or working or anything (for which I miss no opportunity to berate myself). The first few days I felt rubbish. Really bad headaches – coffee withdrawal, apparently. Then there were a couple of days where I literally had no energy. Not surprising I guess. No fuel in the tank. Different people here have reacted in different ways at different times. But everyone seems to have gone through the down cycle, not everyone has had the up. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the place is full of people right now pacing up and down their kitchens.
On the (really) positive side, Poppy has been an angel. Captivated everyone. She just hangs around kinda like she does in the garden, waiting for someone to come along. Shows them her bally, hangs around a bit more. Very sweet. Someone comes along, she rolls on her back, still wagging her tail. Never wanders off, just hangs around. Never have to worry where she is or what she’s doing.
But it’s been too long. Miss you all too much. Love you all very much.

Anyway, I’m off to see Keith now. XXXXX