July 1

July 1 2011

It’s been a bit of a curious week. Ellie went off to Monaco having finished her GCSEs. I went to the airport with her – ah, don’t ever fall for the joys of Luton – and there was that moment where it really seemed as if she was finally gone, grown up and flown the nest. When she passed through the sign that said “Departures – Passengers Only” and up the stairs, it really felt as if she was now going to where her life was. Like the sign said that I’d taken her as far as I could – maybe as far as I should – and that from here on in, she was on her own.
Maybe I’m reading too much into this. Maybe it’s all just sentimental twaddle. She’s still 15. What was I doing at 15? Who knows? My curiously empty memory won’t tell me. I think I was simply young and dumb. I can’t imagine I was as wise as she is. I’m not sure I ever was.

She had a great time in Monaco – naturally.

Back for the prom

Anna Russian 15 still with us – halfway through her month stay

Laughton Lodge party – kinda reconciled all that now

Night of David Haye fight and Wimbledon still on. Can’t get that out of my head. What could I have been? So many wrong turns, so many missed opportunities, so many open goals. Yet still here I am with a life that, OK, isn’t what it might have been but is still pretty damn good.

Still feeling a bit stir crazy in the countryside. Will this abate when the house build really starts?

Lou re-building bridges at the Lodge. Stayed at Steffie’s on Friday and Sassie’s on Saturday. Good.

Getting on better with Gill, think she appreciates the fragility of this a bit more since our ‘troubles’

Two Spanish girls from Barcelona arrived on Sunday. That’s three students in the one house. Busy but lucrative. Teaching all day Monday. It’s only one day but still feel a little resentful. I’ve got a full-time job – and this isn’t the deal.




July 5

Picked up Ellie from Amy’s house – been to an all-night party and had that been up all night look. Sweet.
If anything I’m a bit envious of it all – the joy of it all. It’s not so much innocence cos I don’ t think there’s that much innocence involved but what I mean is the joy of doing new things for the first time. The thrill.
Naturally it makes me think back to the memory black hole that is my youth. What did I get up to? Who was I? Questions that still sound disingenuous but actually I really mean it.

Later today I’m off to London town with Lou to see Selena Gomez in HMV in Oxford Street. Such fun!

The best day. Lou and I went up to London, so exciting, so excited. Got to HMV and found that we had to have a wristband – had no idea. Lou was initially disappointed but stoic. I said not to worry and sweet-talked the head security guard into giving us a pass.
Queued outside for two hours, really exciting. Got in, waited inside the shop for about an hour. Such palpable electricity. I love being with Lou in this mood – it’s such a pure energy, such a pure emotion. And she’s always just so happy about it.